Ode to a politically vocal Outback driver.

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
02/16/2016 at 08:36 • Filed to: None

We got a couple inches of snow followed by freezing rain and then regular thawed rain. This made the roads pretty shitty. So I’m driving down this back road when a Subaru pulls out right in front of me. Why? I don’t know I’m on a long straight stretch so they should see me and after their driveway the road turns and starts going down hill.

I start pumping my brakes so I don’t lose traction and slow down to their speed. They are driving an Outback wagon and displaying their opinion of many things via the plethora of bumper stickers. Shortly after I achieve their speed of “crawl” they seem to notice me and come to a stop in the middle of the road.

I’m looking around this car and all I can see is a little bit in front of us as the road turns and goes downhill.

Thanks asshole.

DISCUSSION (24)

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 08:45

Maybe the person thinks their message is important and wants you to take the time to read it? #sharingiscaring

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 08:49

What did the bumper stickers say? I’m guessing you had time for a little light reading while you waited.

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove
02/16/2016 at 08:52

Lots of Vote X on Y stickers.

Stickers for every Democrat that has run since they’ve owned the Outback.

Concerns about Tibet.

Impassioned request to get along despite our differences.

CalzoneGolem > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
02/16/2016 at 08:53

This has to be it. So brilliant!

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 08:55

So standard insufferable then.

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 08:55

HOW DARE YOU DRIVE IN HORRIBLE WEATHER IN SOMETHING THAT’S NOT AWD DO YOU KNOW HOW DANEROUS THAT IT? I’M GOING TO HOLD YOU UP RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW SO YOU CAN LEARN YOUR LESSON.

-subaru driver

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove
02/16/2016 at 08:58

Only 2 type of people slap stickers all over their car.

Kinja'd!!!

CalzoneGolem > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe
02/16/2016 at 09:00

Maybe they wanted to get rearended.

Leadbull > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 09:01

There used to be a forester that parked at my school, which had stickers bleeding onto both sides of the car.

I don't know how one person could even give a crap about that much stuff.

Nibby > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 09:02

( ° °)

CalzoneGolem > Leadbull
02/16/2016 at 09:02

I get exhausted trying to care about a thing let alone many things!

spanfucker retire bitch > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 09:02

I’ve noticed there’s a correlation between number and/or size of bumper stickers and shitty driving.

CalzoneGolem > Nibby
02/16/2016 at 09:03

I knew exactly where this comment was when I saw it in the notification drop down.

CalzoneGolem > spanfucker retire bitch
02/16/2016 at 09:03

It must throw off the front/rear bias.

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 09:04

I have often wondered at the type of person who is content to have their entire world view represented for them in a pithy phrase on a 3x12 piece of paper. Because life is always that simple.

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove
02/16/2016 at 09:08

Well that’s why you need to have a lot of them.

I’m confused why people think other drivers need to know who they voted for.

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 09:15

No, it’s to tell you who you should vote for. Because you need help making those complex life decisions, and they are graciously willing to help.

Like I said, insufferable.

jariten1781 > Chariotoflove
02/16/2016 at 09:25

So my neighbor is telling me I should vote for Kucinich? That'll be a hell of a write in campaign.

Chariotoflove > jariten1781
02/16/2016 at 10:03

Hey, he was right for America then, and he’s right for America now!

Don't question the sticker, dabgummit!

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) is dead, long live Bman76 M. Arch > spanfucker retire bitch
02/16/2016 at 10:54

I’ve noticed there’s a correlation between number and/or size of bumper stickers and shitty driving people .

FIFY

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 14:02

First I was like “you mean they wanted to collect insurance because they are sick of their car?”

Then I was like “Ohhh... I get it now.”

CalzoneGolem > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much
02/16/2016 at 14:17

The first thing is what I meant.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > CalzoneGolem
02/16/2016 at 18:17

You mean they weren't sick of all the bumper stickers but couldn't be bothered to attempt to peel them all?

CalzoneGolem > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much
02/17/2016 at 06:29

That’s a lot of peeling.